Godly Marriage

There is lot's of marriage advice out there - advice that will never touch on some very important core issues. Without understanding these 5 core issues to all marriage problems as a believer you will be at a grave disadvantage. Christian couples understand that they need Biblically sound marriage principles, not just run of the mill marriage advice if they are to fight marriage enemy #1.Sadly, 50% of couples are divorcing. Add to that number those who are separating and not reconciling and the number soars to 66%. Additionally, research shows only 25% of couples are truly happy. With numbers like these, We can't deny that couples are in a serious battle for their marriages.
It's been reported that the numbers for this research apply equally to those within the visible church of Jesus Christ as they do to those outside of the church. This tells us some thing is terribly wrong. Would you agree? I mean, it just doesn't make sense that people who have the spirit of Christ in them would be experiencing the same patterns of divorce and other marriage problems as those in the world do.
Though this article is not intended to explore the various reasons that might explain this pattern, we can't ignore this condundrum. Therefore, first piece of marriage advice I can give you is this: If you and your spouse are on a destructive marriage path then the most important thing to do is to take inventory of your relationship with Jesus Christ. Paul says it like this, "Examine yourself to see if you are really in the faith."
Beyond, testing yourself to see if you are in the faith, there are 5 core Biblically based marriage advice principles that are important to grasp.

Understanding and applying these principles can help you have a great marriage that satisfies you and glorifies God.

1. Your struggle is not against flesh and blood.
Okay, you've read it. Now I want you to say it, out loud. Yes, right now, say it. Come on, this is important!

"My struggle in my marriage is not against flesh and blood."

Now, I'll explain this in more detail, but it is critical that you remember this principle. And remind yourself often (say it out loud!) This principle is so important because...
It is so easy to start seeing your spouse as the enemy. We start fighting against each other instead of keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus.
Like little lost sheep we tend to lose our focus very quickly. Like Peter, once we lose our focus and take our eyes off Jesus, we start to sink. Again, this isn't just marriage advice, this is truth that the Christian must learn to live by.
"Okay" you say, "so if our battle is not against flesh and blood, what or who is it against?

2. You must recognize Satan's Strategy.
The second marriage advice principle comes from Ephesians 6:12 which states "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." In general our enemy is not our spouse it is the spiritual forces of evil commanded by Satan. Let's take a look at how this all started...
Satan from the beginning, has had his hand in destroying marriages by causing conflict. What kind of conflict do you think erupted after Eve and Adam ate the fruit and were banned by God from the garden? Can you imagine some of the choice words they might have had with each other?

3. You must fight your marriage problems with divine weapons (Points 1 and 2)

Our third Christian marriage advice principle is you must learn to fight a spiritual battle with spiritual weapons. 2 Corinthians 10:3-4 says "For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary they have divine power...
Remember what Satan said to Eve that got her into this mess, "Did God really say, "You must not eat from any tree in the garden?" Satan's strategy is to deceive us and to cause us to doubt God's word and His wisdom. But it is the very word of God that is our sword. You must know and apply God's word to your marriage battle.

4. You must recognize and repent of your self-centeredness.

Our fourth Christian marriage advice principle is the hardest to deal with. It has to do with our own selfishness and self-centeredness. After planting seeds of doubt in our minds, the passions of our sinful selfish nature are aroused. Once Eve listened to Satan's voice and doubt entered in about what God said, the lust of her eyes rested on the forbidden fruit.
Suddenly, Eve's desire was for the one thing God told her she couldn't have...the one thing that would destroy her and Adam. How often do you dwell on the things you don't have in your marriage instead of giving thanks for the things you do? Before we go any further...Here's a piece of Christian marriage advice...

Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

I Thessalonians 5:18

Stop reading for a moment, get a piece of paper and a pencil...

• First, take a few moments and think about how much you dwell on the things you don't have: material things, qualities in your spouse, emotional needs that are not being met, etc.
• Second, on your paper take 5 minutes to write down all the things you are thankful for. Write down all the material and immaterial things that God has provided for you. Take a few moments and give God thanks for the way He has provided.

Our selfishness can single handedly destroy our marriages. It's a powerful force. James said, "What cause fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it...(James 4:1-2)"God's word admonishes married couples to be other centered...Paul gave us more than marriage advice when he wrote, "husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies."(Ephesians 5:28) This is divine wisdom for both husbands and wives to follow. When you recognize your own selfishness repent of it and choose to love your spouse like they were your own body.
Finally, let's talk for a moment about...


Why would Satan care about destroying marriages?
Marriage is Satan's number one target because it was created by God to be a reflection of God's love and faithfulness. It's critical that you grasp the reality that Satan is trying to destroy your marriage.

5. Your marriage was made in the image of God
You see, marriage was designed by God as a covenantal union (A legal promise between two parties). A covenant between a man and a woman, to love, honor and cherish each other until death. God also has a plan to love and cherish His people forever, even when they disobey, sin and rebel against Him.
God remains faithful to those who are in Christ for all eternity...He says "never will I leave you, never will I forsake you."(Hebrews 13:5) Do you see the similarity in God's promise to His people and our traditional marriage vows?
It is precisely because marriage is a picture of God's love and faithfulness to His people that Satan wants to destroy it. Satan wants to destroy the image of God in the earth...that's why marriage is one of his primary targets!

Here's a few more Christian marriage advice principles to help you protect your marriage and nurture your marriage relationship...

• First, you need to understand what God's design is for marriage (we just covered some of those points above).
• Second, you need to know your role and purpose as husband or wife. After all if you don't do what you were designed to do all that will lead to is conflict and frustration!
• Third, you need to believe that pursuing God's purpose for you and your marriage will bring you the greatest joy, fulfillment and satisfaction that a marriage relationship can provide. This concept goes back to the design illustration...when you are doing what you were designed to do you will experience the greatest satisfaction.
• Fourth, don't put off getting marriage counseling help. Find a therapist who can help you and offer you marriage resources to improve your marriage.

Unless couples accept God's principles they are just kicking against the goads so to speak. They will be caught in an endless pattern of conflict. It doesn't matter how much Christian marriage advice you get, these patterns can only be broken by being willing to do things God's way. If you're ready, let's find out what God's ways are for saving marriages.

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